I threw my boots in the trash hopper; they followed the partially destroyed pumas I had just been wearing. I wore those pumas to work every day for the last two years, just to switch into the equally worn and torn boots I purchased from Wal-Mart shortly before my first day.
Walking to the parking lot in my mid-calf high white socks, I am sent off by three more co-workers, all of whom I will miss. I get to my car and realize I forgot one of my favorite co-workers; he must have been off somewhere else on the grounds when I went around shaking hands. I write him a quick Facebook post before driving away. I couldn't walk back through the gates; I wouldn't want to leave.
Strange, it was, how I, for a very long time, wished nothing more than to be gone from those windowless, concrete confines loosely judged to be an office space. Now all I can think about are the people inhabiting those spaces; they became so normal to me. So much a part of my life. Something I had never counted on: I actually care about my former coworkers. I care about how my job is done after I leave; I care that someone remembers that those guys in Wyoming had us quote those 24" fittings out from MRC and never got back to us. I care about whether or not that company gets us those credits they owe. I care. And so, as I sat in my car thinking about the coworker I missed on the way out, I knew I could not walk back in through those gates. I would not be able to come back out to my car until 3:30, when I send my time card to the receptionist and clock out for the week.
I often wondered what I would do if I could go back two years and change something. Go to college right out of high school? If I could have gone to UCSD instead of working for two years, what kind of man would I be now?
I would still work. I do not know the man I would be without the two years at KSFM; but I sure as hell know the man I am now. And this man I can be proud of. This man started with nothing but his name, left with nothing but his name, but became confident and capable somewhere between. And this man met a wonderful woman, gained the best of friends, and discovered a whole new world for him to be a part of and enjoy.
So if I could go back two years and change something, what would I change? Why, I would ask for a raise a hell of a lot sooner; that is what I would change.
Here's to you, my lovely coworkers. I'll smoke to that.
